Long time no see? No. Talk? No. Oh yeah… Type!
I haven’t blogged in a while… I don’t know why obviously I have smart things to say, you all are on the edge of your seats waiting for months right? No?
What’s going on with me? Oh I’m so glad you asked…
I had lap band surgery on March 9th, 2009… the day of surgery I weighed… prepare yourselves, 624 lbs…
I weigh alot less then that today, I would tell you the number, but then I would have to kill you. Not really… I just don’t want to give you the number yet, I will soon, I feel like I’m still swollen, so yeah…
I lost alot of weight, and on April 21st, 2011 I had a panniculectomy (big word for a tummy tuck) and it hurts like heck. I am still suffering with it. My incision popped yesterday and is draining a whole crap load.
What else is going on? Not alot… School, Work, Friends, Family, Life, Church, etc, etc.
What the Heart Wants.
The puzzle of my life sat unassembled on the floor,
Scattered around and missing pieces, it seemed unsolvable.
You came in my life and put the pieces together.
You’re hands have the power to make me feel better.
I look in your eyes and see what is possible.
Your smile fills my heart with joy unspeakable.
You make me feel like I can be so much more,
Then a bunch of pieces scattered on the floor.
Although I know we’ll never be together,
In my heart, you will always be the one who put my life back together.
Mind Numbing
Days of indifference,
Nights of no consequence.
Life is what you make it,
Apparently I’m good at making shit.
The proof is in the pudding,
My pudding spoiled on the shelf.
I am not who I used to be,
I’ll never be who I want to be.
My mind is numb,
No way to cut it to make it feel.
My life is in the shitter,
Waiting for it to swirl down.
There’s pain is pleasure,
There’s pleasure is pain.
No one knows why we do this,
Take one breath and then the next.
We hurt one another,
Then hurt ourselves even more.
Leaves us to wonder,
What is all this for?
Just some pictures I took a few weeks ago, I thought they turned out nice so I thought I would share them.
Just some pics of me and a beautiful butterfly that seems to symbolize things so well these days.
Sexy For Summer - Day Five!
It’s day five technically… I know I know it’s just after midnight so it shouldn’t really count, but damnit I do what I want, lol. If I don’t do it now I’ll forget to, and then I’ll be mad at myself so I think I’ll just go ahead and do it now.
Days 1 - 5 Have been pretty stellar, I didn’t stick to anything perfectly, but I feel ok with the decisions I made. I am still in severe pain from surgery, they say this is normal, but I’m getting kinda sick of it. Yesterday I wasn’t hungry at all I didn’t end up eating anything until around eleven thirty, and then I just had five crackers and a little ham salad, and was satisfied.
I feel everything is looser now, and although I can’t get on the scale I do believe that I’m losing weight, at least I hope I am, time will tell I suppose.
I have been working on school work alot… waiting for midterm grades to be posted… fingers crossed. That’s pretty much all there is to say about me right now…
I think I’ll show you my other favorite song right now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZFpNWJSwVU
Crayons by Matthew Woolfrey.
This song is about Depfox, a couple on youtube that if you’re not watching you should be! <3 <3 <3 them!
That’s all for day!
*Fades away to black with me chair dancing to Crayons*
<3 <3 <3 you all!
What do you want me to talk about in my next blog?
Fuck the Insanity… STOP YOUR MOUTH!
So it’s been forever since I posted here and frankly it’s because nothing in my life is changing. I’m still fat, still single, still feeling pathetic… but it’s time to make a change!
There are 74 days left till summer, and while I can’t realistically be at my weight loss goal by then I think it’s time for me to make a serious life change and adopt a new style of eating.
So here goes…
Sexy For Summer 2010:
- Day One: Drink ONLY water.
- Day Two: Start taking three minute walks every hour, yes this may sound pathetic to some of you, but Im recooping from double knee surgery a week ago so this is kinda a big deal.
- Day Three: Stop making excuses, this is the day I normally quit, even if I fail I will not quit.
- Day Four: No eating after eight pm. NO EXCUSES.
- Day Five: Write a blog. NO EXCUSES. Ideas for the blog: Feelings, failures, successes, reasons why not to quit, reasons why this will work, anything that comes to mind… blog and tell the world, that’s what they are here for.
- Day Six: No meat, I am going to attempt to go sorta vegetarian and only eat meat three days a week, while I know that’s not the best option, it’s a place to start.
- Day Seven: Blog… write how I succeeded and how I failed this week. Talk to my friends about my new plans. Be completely honest about dieting with everyone in my life…
- Day Eight: Write the next seven days plans, I know that I can do this, it’s time for me to accept that I am not a failure, that I will do this and that I can do this.
Things I have accomplished since I started losing weight:
- Lost over 200 lbs.
- Sat comfortably in a theater style seat.
- Went to the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.
- Had sex in the back seat of a car.
- Gotten phone numbers from more then one person at the club.
- Sat comfortably at a movie theater and the omnimax.
- Went out on New Year’s Eve.
- Went out for my 30th birthday and had a blast.
- Not been the fattest person in the room.
- Gone back to college.
- I’ll be adding onto this list continously as new adventures arrive.
I have spent so much time telling myself I can’t do things that I think I need to give myself a pep talk. The thing is that if you’re my life and you aren’t supporting this change then it’s time for you to leave my life, because honestly you don’t deserve my time.
Ok and a bit of a rant in text form, because if you watch youtube, you could see the video rant… let’s talk about Susan Powter.
Susan Powter made a series of videos called “Fuck the Fat Girls” in which she sided with HOWARD STERN about Gabby Sidibe (star of the oscar winning picture Precious) and in which she said that Howard Stern was right to say things like “Gabby will never have the chance to win an oscar they should have given it to her, what movie will she be in next ‘The Bliind Side 2’?” I found this to be repulsive. Not only did she insult a girl who has done more with one film then Susan Powter will do in her whole life, but she sided with the most disgusting person in Entertainment. Furthermore she said that Gabby didn’t have a right to be in Hollywood and that they would chew her up and spit her out… obviously that’s not true… Gabby is casted in two more movies THIS YEAR… and what are you doing Susan Powter? Oh that’s right selling your shit over the internet… btw you aren’t even at goal!
As repulsive as this behavior was, what pushed me over the top was her most recent video calling Richard Simmons a “F@gg@t”. Again someone who has done more for the obese world then Susan Powter could ever dream of doing. She made this video in response to Richard Simmons calling her an evil harpee in a recent Slash CD. Something that Richard obviously did because of what she said about Gabby and what she has done to the weight loss industry. Susan tries to condone her behavior by giving us the definition of “f@gg@t” … while it is defined as kindling, let’s discuss why. In the times of Joan of Arc and then again later during the witch hunts, homosexuals were set on fire and thrown underneath these people who were burned at the stake, that is where the term “flamer” comes from. Susan if you read this, and I doubt that you do, I am a small blogger, although you did watch my videos and block me because I disagreed with you… I hope that you wake up and realize what you say does have power… and that you are a hate filled person, who will have a special place in hell next to Howard Stern.
I know this is a long one, I’ll be back in a few days with an update to tell you what’s going on with me and this new plan.
Love always,
Formerly Fat… on the way to ME!
Amazing company! Check them out: http://photosbyandrea.weebly.com/ or email her: lykoispirit@gmail.com
Seriously?
I woke… psh woke up… never went to sleep ahahaha. I turned on youtube, because that’s what I do I turn on youtube, I don’t go to the webpage or anything… anyways.
I clicked on a video and it was perhaps the funniest song I ever heard in my entire life:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYU0bS_Upgc
After watching this three times and just about pissing myself because it was so funny I looked into what this video is a response to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ug-VB-wSgoY
Again I laughed until I just about pissed myself. While I applaude anyone attempting to get healthy and lose weight, no matter what the number of lbs you need to lose, this video makes me rofl.
These two have 15-20 lbs to lose, and while if that’s you and they encourage you, then more power to them… they make a video saying that this is when people start to quit, people start and quit all through the year.
Many people have much more weight to lose, and simply can’t do an exercise plan like insanity or p90x let alone afford them, what does this challenge do for them? Are they meant to sit and watch them succeed while they eat a tub of ice cream, as many of us have done in the past with show’s like “Biggest Loser” and “Celebrity Fit Club”? I think not, stop watching and start doing. Stop watching others succeed while you wish you could. If this abrasive shit motivates you, then awesome keep watching, but if watching others succeed while you don’t only depresses you and makes you feel like a failure I say fuck them.
Turn off youtube, turn off the tv, turn off everything but your mind and the treadmill. Find an exercise you can do, and say fuck off to more challenges. I did the whole fifteen challenges at once thing, and guess what I’ve lost more being in no challenges then I ever did during a challenge.
Find a plan that works for you and just do it, stop waiting for the next inspirational story to get you moving, be the inspiration for someone else. Value yourself more then anyone you watch on youtube… the fact is we are all just people and we are all here to do the same thing… LOSE WEIGHT…
Shoutout!
I love this blog and now she’s doing an awesome giveaway:
http://www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com
Please check her out and follow her blog! They are amazing!
I’m just a skinny boy shopping in the fat man’s section.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted here so I thought, what the heck let’s post something! You all get to be the benefactors of my most recent shopping experience. You may not like it, but you’ll probably read it anyway, because at least one of you have shared this experience.
So I don’t shop in stores, because I don’t like the stigma of walking into the fat and odd section, or God forbid entering one of those big and tall stores… btw why do women’s plus size stores get cute names like “Torrid” or “Fashion Bug” and I have to shop at a place called “The Casual Male” as if the only thing a fat man could be is casual? WTF? I know that this is a little bit of a ranty rant, but it is what it is and you’ll like it or not… honestly I don’t care which.
Moving on from the ridiculous name of the fat and odd, that’s what they should call it instead of big and tall… are we a building?
I move to the mens section of the www.jcp.com website and start to look around, I click on several things and am pleasantly surprised that they have them in my size… and it’s only like TEN or FIFTEEN dollars more expensive. I mean it’s not like I want to save any money or shop in the clearance section or anything. While I am not abreast of the fashion industry, I know what I like and it’s usually current or trendy clothes. I want to dress like others my age… but alas the fat and odd industry thinks that I want to dress like my grandfather.
Let’s address some individual clothing styles:
The Banded Bottom Colorblock Shirt: http://bit.ly/d51Es4
I do believe that my grandfather wore this particular shirt in 1994, I don’t think this fashion is experiencing a comeback. If this is the next staple in fashion, please shoot me in the head now! Let’s talk about how useful that band is in emphasizing my stomach fat and that bulge that develops from the pants that I wear.
Alexander Julian Chest Stripe Sweater-Big/Tall: http://bit.ly/c3suD2
This sweater was made famous in the eighties by Bill Cosby… wait no this is new, and ugly. The big ugly colored stripe in the middle won’t make me look bigger or anything. The color orange isn’t something that makes me look like a fat ass pumpkin either right? I want my friends to tear this shirt off of me if they ever see me wearing it.
St. John’s Bay® Fleece Vest - Big & Tall: http://bit.ly/cqWxqq
While I understand that vests are a look that happened a few years ago… fat men, please listen, don’t wear these, it points out your fat middle. This vest screams I’m to fat to find a jacket with sleeves… so I put on this vest. Sarcasm Service Graphic Tee: http://bit.ly/ccPcwnGraphic tees with super awesome fleur de lis, or music graphics, or retro style are amazing and look great underneath a plain button down shirt… but please make the “clever sayings” shirts stop! I don’t want to read your shirt, if I wanted to read something I would do it on the toilet like every other fat man. Please these shirts aren’t funny or clever, just STOP!
Finally…Activewear Section: http://bit.ly/bBNjH6
Why are there only 20 items in the big and tall activewear section? Most of them are socks, why is that ok? I mean obviously we aren’t active eh? It’s as if they are calling us lazy, because we don’t need athletic wear or anything. These clothes are also the ugliest things I’ve ever seen, I have seen some amazing activewear from places like Undergear, obviously they don’t cater to the fat man either, because they figure that we don’t have income that can be spent.
Clothing manufacturers please wake up, fatties have money to spend, they probably aren’t going out to the club every weekend, because that environment isn’t comfortable for us either. Make your stores a comfortable place to be, please don’t hire weightist staff, and take our complaints seriously, if your staff offends one person they will most likely offend others, and that word of mouth gives your stores a negative reputation, and it will keep me out of them for sure.
So tell me, have you had a bad experience?
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